By Karen Card
Ever wonder why there was so much romance in the beginning of your
relationship, but not now? There may be a good reason. Most men, when
presented with a challenge in their life, will focus strongly on the
challenge until they have reached their goal or solved the problem.
Then, feeling proud of their accomplishment, they sit back and relax,
moving on when the next challenge arises. Unfortunately, many men look
at relationships in the same manner. The woman he is dating is the
challenge so he puts a lot of time, energy and focus into courting her
until he has "won" her. Once he is confident that she is committed to
him, he has reached his goal and can now sit back and relax. This is
very normal behavior for most men.
What men do not realize is that women need romance throughout the
relationship, not just at the beginning. When a man stops the romance,
which is something she really needs, many times the woman will stop
appreciating him, which is something he really needs, and the
relationship starts to decline. If his romantic behavior becomes stale
or predictable, she cannot continue to be excited about being with him.
It up to both partners to work to keep romance in their relationship.
Here are 5 tips to keep the romance alive:
1. Regular "Date Night": The most effective way to keep
romance alive is by going out on dates. Whether you are young and like
to party, or settled down with several children, a couple needs a "Date
Night" to keep the spark going in the romance department. To make Date
Night successful it needs to be just the two of you, out of the house,
including dinner and another activity (movie, dancing, walk on the
beach, etc.), without any talk about serious issues. The goal of Date
Night is to focus on being romantic - like you did at the beginning of
the relationship.
2. Let the man plan the date: To make Date Night more
romantic, the man should plan the dates, as he did at the beginning of
the relationship. When a man sets up and confirms the details of the
date, the woman feels special and cared for. While she may initially
have to request that he put in the extra effort required to plan and
execute the date, after he takes her out, he will be rewarded with her
appreciating him and his efforts.
3. Plan ahead: It is hard for women to appreciate a
date that is rushed and unplanned. The last thing she wants to hear is
him asking in the car, "What would you like to do tonight?" Men have the
power to keep the love alive, by making an effort to plan dates ahead
of time. Women love the excitement they get from looking forward to a
date which has been planned several days ahead of time. Try to have the
date plans in place by Wednesday for a weekend date.
Yes, it requires more thought and more energy on the man's part, but the
effort is worth it. This type of romance will put the spark back in
your relationship and she will respond to him with appreciation.
4. Focus on each other: An important part of Date Night
is having uninterrupted time to focus on each other. The rule is that
there will be no talking about the kids, the bills, or the problems of
the day. The conversation needs to be light and easy - after all, you
are on a date, not in a family meeting.
5. Do not get lazy: Just because you get settled into a
relationship, does not mean you should settle down. Although it is
easier to stay home and rent videos rather than going out to the movies,
do not take the lazy way out - it is a slow death to your love life.
Women need to let their partner know that they still need to have dates.
She needs to ask him to plan their dates in advance and take her out on
the town. Both partners need this. At the very least, try to have one
Date Night each month. Keeping the romance alive will keep the
relationship alive and healthy.
Both partners benefit by putting some effort into the romance department
of their relationship. Recognize that romance needs tending to
throughout the entire relationship - it does not stay hot and heavy
forever, unless you consciously make it happen. You have the power to
bring the romance back by bringing back the feelings you had at the
beginning of your relationship. Bring back Date Night.
Karen Card is a relationship expert/coach and has worked with hundreds
of individuals, teaching her proven techniques to obtain or strengthen a
relationship. She has earned a 93% success rate for her clients who
want more love in their lives.
She is author of 3 books: "How to Get More Love," "How to Get EVEN More
Love," and her latest, "MAN FACTS-10 Facts Women Must Know about Men."
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